God Bless China!

It's the first day of vacation and I have settled nicely into a routine of playing games on my iPod, taking naps, reading, taking walks and riding a bike everywhere I need to go in this Small Town, USA. The bicycle I've been riding is my Father-in-law's antique Schwinn and it is AWESOME! I feel like I'm not even working but gliding everywhere I go.

Some young punk tried to give me shit at the fireworks stand, "You buyin' some fireworks?" he said. I answered in the affirmative and he said, "Hope they fit in your basket."

REALLY?

I'll have you know the basket on this bike is HUGE! Surely this young man could see that. I would have to be the most disgusting type of consumer to drive a big-ass, diesel engine two blocks up the road just so that I can buy so many China made freedom bombs that they wouldn't fit in this basket and be damned if I was gonna make two trips! In other words, I'd have to be an American. Thank you youngster for pointing out my unpatriotic decision. I'll be sure to make that mistake more than once, but perhaps I will affix a nut sack to the seat. That should, at least, make somebody happy.

I painted my toes red, white and blue because I thought they would look cute and I can get away with it for the month of July only. Painting any part of my body those colors when it's not this time of the year sends a message that I am strongly opposed to sending. However, the first person who calls me patriotic over it will enjoy a dose of my sarcasm, "Yes. I just love France and England. Wouldn't it be great if they made our fireworks?"