Let's start the bidding at $____.__

A few weeks back, I volunteered to help with a project in my daughter's class. One of the other moms that was there had two children in my daughter's class. To judge her based on her children would mean to like her immensely, but she and I have never gotten past the plastic pleasantries that plague mommy-talk to decide which neurons fire the same way, so I remain neutral. I will say that when we talk, she doesn't make me want to vomit, so I tend to encourage conversation -- the more I talk to her, the less I have to talk to someone who evokes the gag reflex.  She has five children and the two youngest were in Little Woman's kindergarten class. They are not twins. The little girl is a tall specimen with bright eyes, a wide smile and extremely articulate speech and the little boy barely talks to me, but is energetic and obviously adopted. In fact, he is Chinese-American.

When I asked the not-too-prying question of "Any fun summer vacations planned?" She told me about a China Camp that they attend every year. I know absolutely nothing about China Camps, and have never been good at pretending, so I asked more questions. What in the HECK is a China Camp? Apparently families of adopted Chinese-Americans get together and celebrate the Chinese culture and heritage. She explained that the camp is about celebration and education so that the adopted children won't feel a loss of history.

It's a beautiful thought. It's a beautiful practice. My only regret is that I can't call upon the Incoherent Mumbler and find out what kind of backwards thoughts he has on this. You remember, that guy who told me that Mexicans are wrong to try to bring their culture with them to the U.S.? The idiot that didn't see it as wrong for white people to live like white people on Indian soil because we killed for it fair and square? Would he agree with the China Camps? Or would he tell the culture-preservers to suck it up and move on?

Honestly, I know the answer to that one. I'm sure he wouldn't see the two as correlating, because in one case the immigrants choose to live here and in the other case they are bought and brought here as babies. Also, the Chinese culture is being taught by a non-Chinese parent, not preserved by a natural citizen of the old country. You see, it's about ownership. As long as we pay for the power to save a culture, then it's ok. But when it boils down to a freedom, like leaving one country to save your life and the life of your children, then you have to kill the culture as well.

The good news is that I have a solution. This just wouldn't be the awesome blog that it is, if I didn't. We Americans need to start adopting Mexicans! "But some of them are old," you say, "and they remember their heritage." This is not a problem. Once you adopt them, they will get a new birthdate and we'll hit them over the head so that they forget who they are and where they came from, and then you hypocritical-control-freaks can teach them their culture all over again. Won't that be fun?

So please, America, before you dribble racial slurs about our neighbors to the south; brush your two teeth, comb your mullet and imagine if someone was saying that about your adopted children.