What a Rush!

The question on everyone's -- sane -- mind is: If there were a pill that Rush Limbaugh could take daily that would allow him to talk as much as he wanted and never regret anything he spewed, would it be possible for him to blab so much that he couldn't afford it?

Dear Rush,

A few notes.

First of all, saying that someone wants to get paid for sex because she's on birth control is like saying you want to star in gay porn because you had your prostate checked. Have you had your prostate checked lately, sir? You are at that age you know.

I was on birth control before I was sexually active because my menstruation started at a late 16 and was irregular. The contraceptive helped regulate my hormones and subsequent cycle. Speaking of responsibility, you were addicted to Oxycontin at what age? How many women have you had sex with?

Maybe I've been influenced by Freud too much in my education, but when you compare women's health to prostitution you make it obvious that your only word association for "woman" is "prostitute" and that probably tells multitudes about your personal life.

Also, people like you make it difficult to rationalize raising a daughter in this world. Which reminds me: How many illegitimate daughters did you slander with your comments about contraceptives?

I think Al Franken said it best, in 1999, when he said:

If you'll excuse me. I need to go let a Rush out my Limbaugh. I bet you wish there was a morning-after pill for your mouth right about now.