Dear Friends,
While you were gone, your cats behaved extremely well... the first day. On day two, however, they protested their undying devotion to us by, in true cat manner, sticking their butts in our faces, incanting evil spells at us with their eyes and completely ignoring our desires to pet them. The conversation below was recorded right in your very living room.
Tabby: Hey! Watch me make this sweet jump from the window to the mantle!
I: No! Tabby?! Don't do it!
Tabby: Huh? What? Were you talking? Well, anyway watch this jump. I'm so awesome.
I: Tabby!! GET DOWN!
Tabby: (jumping, irritatedly to the floor) Fucking Dick.
As you can see, your felines obviously hold us in their highest regard and for this we apologize. It was not our intention to become their favorites. We tried to be as annoying as possible to them, but they saw through it all and now, it seems, we are quite fond of each other.
Your Friends (but mostly theirs),
The F#^*ing D!cks
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