Bullet Proof Bargains

I found myself at Cabela's today. I was looking for a soft tackle box to use as a purse, but I couldn't find any well-made ones, and they all said "Cabela's" on them. After a little more shopping, though, I ended up in the firearms department. It was busier than the rest of the store, and I almost turned around and got the hell out of there, but then I thought, wait, there is something I could shop for here! I looked for a little while, but then I walked up to a busy counter and asked loudly, "Could you point me in the direction of the bullet-proof vests? I can't seem to find them." "Ma'am, we do not carry bullet-proof vests," was the response I received. I said, "None? Not even in a different department?" The gentleman behind the counter only shook his head and I suddenly felt extremely unsafe. I was standing in the firearms section of a Cabela's in Wichita, Kansas, surrounded by more rifles, ammo, and reactionary bigots than bullet-proof anything. I was never more relieved to leave for the Goodwill.

This sells for $130 AND DOES NOT STOP BULLETS.

This stops bullets and sells for over $300 and you have to register on the site you buy it from.

This is an ad online by some guy who says he will "trade for other pistols, coins, or cash." I wish I was making this up.

We're all fucked. Thought you should know.