Dear Abby Normal,

This is my letter to a woman who called herself "not normal" because she is 32, unmarried, without children, in a successful career, and never wants to be a housewife. This is what I want to say to her:

Dear Abby Normal,


I think you have every right to call yourself "not normal" if you want to, but I hate that you feel the need to categorize yourself in that way. I hate even more that in the same way you consider yourself to be NOT normal, you might consider me to be normal. I often feel very NOT normal, even devious. But it seems that from your perspective I have followed some predetermined path. And you're right! I am normal in that I am a normal human being, trying to fit my life into the life I have made with others. I am not normal in that I don't kowtow to societies expectations of motherhood-martyrdom, doting damsel or count-your-blessings bigotry. BUT, I am not defending my life, and I don't think you should either.


I tell you this because I have a daughter, and I want her to understand that women don't need the molds society gives us. Normal is what we say it is! I hope she makes her own path just like you and I did, but never considers herself NOT normal for doing it. We need to change society. While you raise yourself up, stand tall, and declare independence, don't forget to wave, every now-and-then, to the other women at the same altitude but on different mountains. We can all be good at what we do. It's when we believe that we are doing something wrong by not following some pre-made path, that we end up hurting each other and ourselves. You are not ABnormal. You are just you. No excuses!


Your Fan,
CyniSister