I'm out.

It's been so crappy a day that I don't really feel like talking about it, but talking about something else at this point would feel superficial. So....

It started out well enough. I was called to substitute for the same math teacher as before. I was actually pretty excited about it and that aspect of my day went extremely well. However, while the students worked quietly I began to read a book that I have to do a presentation on, titled Backlash. It's about feminism and our society's backlash against the movement and gender equality in general. The topic was not fun and the more I read the more angry I became. My hand was shaking at one point when I was thankfully interrupted by a student. I took many deep breaths. I would suggest this book to men. Women, this book is hard to swallow but read it anyway. It's by Susan Faludi. Here's a link. So, I take a break. I focus on subbing and not the sabotage of gender equality.

I get finished subbing in time for my English class, but before I go, I check my email. One of my emails is from a classmate who thinks that a comment I made was racially inappropriate. It wasn't. She got angry about people in class saying that black people can't write a white person's story. I got angry about it too and said that it is like saying that a man can't write a woman's story or a woman write a teenage boy's story (see J.K. Rowling). But she was getting more and more offended and nothing she or I said could convince the other students otherwise. I told her after class that I thought she turned red. I said this jokingly. Apparently assuming that she was angry was racist. Am I to think that black people don't get red with embarrassment or anger? Wouldn't thinking that make me more racist? Anyway, I know better. Does she think I've never had black friends? Do I apologize for considering her human? So, what does she do? She writes about how I probably don't understand because people who don't deal with racism everyday often don't understand it. Now that is racist. Assuming that my pale skin makes me unable to understand something. As she's judging me based on my skin color she's telling me that I don't understand racism. Classic. I suppose next someone will tell me that, being a woman, I am too stupid to understand sexism. WTF?!

Then I get home. I earn some puffy eyes with a good cry over this cruel world, shake it off and decide to make dinner. Only I don't make it very well. I forget a key ingredient and no one eats it, including myself. It was gross and I was feeling beat down. So I decide to try to do something nice for someone else. What goes around, right? I pick up the phone to call a friend. Her husband is out of town. He cooks, she doesn't. Tomorrow I am putting the crock pot on filled with too much food for my family alone. Why not call an invite her and her daughter to dine with us. But when I pick up the phone I forget that I was called to sub this morning and call back the wrong number. The good news is that I didn't say anything profane which is customary for me when I call a friend.... I was so embarrassed. ...and I did turn red.

You win world. I'm giving up for today. I'm taking tylenol PM for my headache, crawling beneath the covers and trying to forget this day ever happened. Feel free to do the same.