Warning: Profanity

Wog two miles? Check!

Banana and Orange Juice for breakfast? Check!

Finish Presentation for Tomorrow?

Clean house for Saturday's Birthday Party?

Finish Presentation for Tuesday?

Write 20-page English Paper?

Fuck!

... could use a little help here.

1st Grade Parent Homework

This is why I was too busy to blog tonight. I had 1st grade homework.

I was supposed to represent our family's holiday traditions on 1 - 2 scrapbook pages.

I love the idea of representing all families and cultures, but I hate scrapbooking. It's just another way for society to say, "Here women! Shut up and color!"

Anyway... for hating the task, I think I did a decent job. You decide.

This would not load upright. Sorry!

Give Thanks to Protestors and Poets

A poem by Shel Silverstein speaks to the masses at Occupy Wall Street. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! 

FISH?

The little fish eats the tiny fish,

The big fish eats the little fish - 

So only the biggest fish get fat. 

Do you know any folks like that?

- Shel Silverstein

And to all the Native Americans whose homeland we trampled, raped and are still killing slowly because we never knew, and still do not know, any better:

FORGOTTEN LANGUAGE

Once I spoke the language of the flowers,

Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,

Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,

and shared a conversation with the housefly in my bed.

Once i heard and answered all the questions of the crickets,

And joined the crying of each falling dying flake of snow,

Once I spoke the language of the flowers...

How did it go?

How did it go?

- Shel Silverstein

Welcome to Kansas

Stupid dumb damn cars!!!  Filthy, fuckin' gas and oil and rubber contraptions! @$*(^#%!!
There were a dozen little details that might have let that fox/dog/small coyote cross the highway safely. None of them were in play this evening. I'm so sorry little furry animal. We really didn't mean to hurt you, but we understand that that is exactly what we are doing; even when our tires don't come in contact.

Hey drunk guy! You don't have to tailgate our car, containing two small people, just because your right foot has lousy cruise control.

Saturday Night on the Kansas turnpike was a big howdy-do and welcome back. If we ever get out of Kansas I'm gonna miss the little vomit that happens in my throat upon returning every time.

I'm serious!

I feel like I have literally dropped a few inches since getting to the lake. And not because of a lack of eating. Running on concrete is much harder than running on a treadmill! Holy Crap! It's also more relaxing though. I love watching the trees go by and breathing the moist autumn air... until that damn conversion van drives by twice and "exhausted" the shit out of me.

It's crazy to see all the bags of food and snacks we bought slowly dwindling down. We have had more fun doing absolutely whatever we want!

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the week so far.

Ben: "I'm not just Anything; I'm THE THING!" During a water fight in the pool.

Juliet: "Daddy, can I take my chocolate into my fort?" While lounging around the condo.

My all time favorite was when Ben got crabby in the pool and told us, "I'm serious!" to which the Hubby responded with a similar crab, "I've been therious thith whole thime!"

This is One of Those Crazy Things...

Did I mention that a tree fell in the woods and not only did we hear it, we saw it?

Well, a tree fell in the woods and not only did we hear it, we SAW IT!

Poor thing. The earth shook when it landed. Crazy man, crazy.

If I Was a Millionaire

If I was a millionaire I would own a lake in the middle of a bunch of rolling hills. It would be stocked with fish and have a path around it for jogging. I would set my modest cabin up on the side of one of the hills with a fantastic view of my land and have various buildings where I pay people to keep them ready for my use at any moment. In one of these fabulous buildings would be a big theater with bouncy chairs to sit in and candelabrum sconces along the walls. When I arrived to watch a movie, the staff would open the door to the banquet kitchen so that I could pop my popcorn and the movie would be ready when I was.

Oh... wait... that is exactly what my day was like today. Ok... so I have to share this resort with other people, but all those other people obviously don't know what a fantastic holiday Thanksgiving is to spend here, because we have this entire place to ourselves!!

So, the movie was AWESOME and so was the popcorn. The indoor pool was warm and ours and now we're sitting in another one of those perfect-for-parties buildings where Ben is playing the Wii on one side and Jet and the Daddy-O are curled up on a couch, watching a movie on the other side. We will soon be having hot cocoa with marshmallows and I might go through the supply of puzzles to see if any fit my fancy.

And to all those millionaires out there, your money doesn't by you anything the majority of us can't have too except for power over the government and ulcers in your belly. ENJOY!

That's the lake, frozen, last January. It was our own private lake then too. Who couldn't love this?