Uncensored thought for the day:
I've never understood the phrase "under god." Whenever I find the time to "meet god" I'm typically on top. <badoomp tsssz>
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
Laying Down Laminate
When I decided to lay laminate, I looked around YouTube for an instructional video, but the one I found just said exactly what everyone else said. 1) "It just snaps together" and 2) "Try to vary the seems."
I am here to tell you, that those two little worthless utterances won't help you a bit if you're installing laminate for the first time; and the boxes that the laminate comes in, won't include instructions. So I apologize to those of you who don't care to read this, but I feel it is my duty to share some helpful tips with anyone thinking about installing laminate in the near future. If you know someone who might be interested, do them a favor and share this with them!
These are the things that no salesman, hardware store Rep., or Do-it-yourself video, taught me. I had to learn them on my own. Male or Female, Old or Young, Carpenter or Not, you can do this, but I don't see why you should have to make the same mistakes I did.
Helpful Hints:
1. You need a special tool called a "pull bar" that can't be bought at any regular tool store, but must be bought where laminate is sold. I actually had a gentleman at a hardware store argue with me about what I needed. Here's what it looks like and with out it, you won't be able to get those seams as tight as you would like.
I am here to tell you, that those two little worthless utterances won't help you a bit if you're installing laminate for the first time; and the boxes that the laminate comes in, won't include instructions. So I apologize to those of you who don't care to read this, but I feel it is my duty to share some helpful tips with anyone thinking about installing laminate in the near future. If you know someone who might be interested, do them a favor and share this with them!
These are the things that no salesman, hardware store Rep., or Do-it-yourself video, taught me. I had to learn them on my own. Male or Female, Old or Young, Carpenter or Not, you can do this, but I don't see why you should have to make the same mistakes I did.
Helpful Hints:
2. You will also need a block to put next to the laminate for purposes of hitting with your rubber mallet (you will need a rubber mallet too) so that you do not hit the laminate directly and hurt the tooth or grove.
3. *This is important for your sanity!* There may come a time when the piece of laminate you are installing attaches beautifully at both ends but not, at all, in the middle. It will appear as though the board is warped. It isn't. The floor is warped -- it's natural. Put aside the piece you are trying to install before you beat it to death and throw it out the back door. Then grab your mallet and block and bang in those two areas on the laid floor where the new piece seemed to attach nicely. Give them a good 5-10 strong whacks! That will even out the line and the new piece will go in easier. I took one for the team and beat a board to death before I figured this out. It was a small price to pay if I can now share my knowledge with you.
4. You don't actually have to try to vary the seams. Say you lay the laminate from left to right across your floor. If you start by laying a whole piece on the left, you will have to cut the very last piece on the right. But the piece that you cut will leave you with a piece to start with on the left, and since you started with a whole piece on the left last time, your seam will be varied. I wasted some boards in the beginning trying to be a good little seam vary-er. It isn't necessary. After about 5 rows I realized, that I had naturally started to alternate the left between whole pieces and cut pieces and my seams were varied, just like that.
5. When you finish the laminate and before you re-attach any trim, take the time to walk the floor and check out your seams. If you see any gaps that look larger than you'd like, now is the time to beat them in. This will be impossible to do once the trim is attached. No one else will notice those seams, but you will want to check for them especially if you put laminate in the house where you live (I have a few seams that haunt me now because I didn't do this).
Good luck!
5. When you finish the laminate and before you re-attach any trim, take the time to walk the floor and check out your seams. If you see any gaps that look larger than you'd like, now is the time to beat them in. This will be impossible to do once the trim is attached. No one else will notice those seams, but you will want to check for them especially if you put laminate in the house where you live (I have a few seams that haunt me now because I didn't do this).
Good luck!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Oh the BUSY Days of Summer?
Forgive me world, for I have been far too busy to write you regularly.
Of course you knowI finished the floor in my office. It looks so much better and the house no longer has that dusty, musty smell. But when we were finished with that, we spent a day moving furniture around. During the construction, our office was in the dining room, and our table was in the living room. It was crowded but it gave us a great idea!
So, when we had this big "back room" to do with as we pleased, we became a little giddy. We moved just about every room around. Now, I realize that I probably say this every time we move our furniture, but I REALLY like the way the house looks this time! ha ha
We put our table in the newly floored "back room" with our two 70's-style lamps and our 50's-style couch (so cute); the drum set, piano, and writing desk are in the center of the house (what used to be the dining room) along with the papasan chair; and the desks, bookshelves and wing-backed chairs are in the front room. It's almost as if we have themed rooms.
Notice I didn't say anything about a T.V. We still don't own one. That makes seven years now! Whoop Whoop!
Ok... gotta go do some work on myself. My eyebrows are OUT OF CONTROL!
World, Peace!
Of course you knowI finished the floor in my office. It looks so much better and the house no longer has that dusty, musty smell. But when we were finished with that, we spent a day moving furniture around. During the construction, our office was in the dining room, and our table was in the living room. It was crowded but it gave us a great idea!
So, when we had this big "back room" to do with as we pleased, we became a little giddy. We moved just about every room around. Now, I realize that I probably say this every time we move our furniture, but I REALLY like the way the house looks this time! ha ha
We put our table in the newly floored "back room" with our two 70's-style lamps and our 50's-style couch (so cute); the drum set, piano, and writing desk are in the center of the house (what used to be the dining room) along with the papasan chair; and the desks, bookshelves and wing-backed chairs are in the front room. It's almost as if we have themed rooms.
Notice I didn't say anything about a T.V. We still don't own one. That makes seven years now! Whoop Whoop!
Ok... gotta go do some work on myself. My eyebrows are OUT OF CONTROL!
World, Peace!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Just Eat the Damn Cookie!
Last night, at another one of our crazy family dinners, we all started cussing at each other. It was a new game. Actually it started with Little Man. He was pretending to be a shitty parent a few days ago, making us laugh, and bursted out with, "watch the damn movie!" and we all just about fell over laughing.
In case you don't remember, our kids are allowed to cuss in the house unless they get in trouble cussing somewhere else, then the freedom is taken away at home too.
So there we are, sitting at the table when I pass out these marshmallow cookies for everyone to try and it gets quiet when suddenly Little Man mutters, "Just eat the damn cookie!" And once again there was an eruption of laughter. So Little Woman chimes in, "This cookie is damn good!" And like that, a new game was started. We could talk about anything we wanted, but we had to throw "damn" somewhere into every sentence.
And so it went for some time.
"These cookies are damn good"
"You're damn right"
"We should have turned the damn lamps on."
"Well who turned the damn overhead on?"
"This winter when it gets dark so damn early, we're getting the damn candle's out."
"We can have a damn candlelit dinner!"
But then Little Woman cuts in and tells us a story. She doesn't cuss and we don't really expect her to, because she seems pretty serious. She tells us about this kid at camp that punched her friend in the stomach because after he didn't help them erect a fort, she wouldn't allow him to get in it. We asked if her friend cried. She said no. I asked if her friend punched him back. She said no. So I asked, "Did he get out of the fort?" And you no what that daughter of mine said?
In case you don't remember, our kids are allowed to cuss in the house unless they get in trouble cussing somewhere else, then the freedom is taken away at home too.
So there we are, sitting at the table when I pass out these marshmallow cookies for everyone to try and it gets quiet when suddenly Little Man mutters, "Just eat the damn cookie!" And once again there was an eruption of laughter. So Little Woman chimes in, "This cookie is damn good!" And like that, a new game was started. We could talk about anything we wanted, but we had to throw "damn" somewhere into every sentence.
And so it went for some time.
"These cookies are damn good"
"You're damn right"
"We should have turned the damn lamps on."
"Well who turned the damn overhead on?"
"This winter when it gets dark so damn early, we're getting the damn candle's out."
"We can have a damn candlelit dinner!"
But then Little Woman cuts in and tells us a story. She doesn't cuss and we don't really expect her to, because she seems pretty serious. She tells us about this kid at camp that punched her friend in the stomach because after he didn't help them erect a fort, she wouldn't allow him to get in it. We asked if her friend cried. She said no. I asked if her friend punched him back. She said no. So I asked, "Did he get out of the fort?" And you no what that daughter of mine said?
"You're damn right he did!"
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Show Floor
Hello World!
See this mess?
I made it!
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Ready for flooring!
Don't be jealous.
UPDATED
UPDATED
Ta-da!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
So Far, So Bored.
Sorry for the boring posts this week. I'm too busy putting a new floor in my office to worry whether my readers are properly entertained. It's not like this is a paying gig or anything.
So far I have two major pieces of furniture moved out of the office and I would have done more but I had to spend the last hour of my evening holding my six-year-old's hand while she cleaned up after herself. I honestly don't know where I went wrong with that one. She will clean-up after herself for everyone but me. What I hate even more is that if I want to punish her, I end up punishing myself. No trip to the pool for her means no trip for me. No movies or games means her head up my ass all day long. This is what I hate about motherhood. You can't just live by your own whims, you are a constant slave to the whims of other, immature and less reasonable whims. Gag me. I think I need a nanny -- not to do all the fun stuff with the kids like most people pay nannies to do, but to punish them and make them stare at a wall for two hours while I go have fun in the pool. That would be ideal parenting in my world. "Oops. You fucked up. We'll talk about it when I get back from having fun!"
<sigh>
If only.
So I guess tomorrow I'll get the rest of the furniture moved since it looks like lap swimming, diving for rings, giving piggy back rides, and having splash contests is not in my future. Somebody shoot me. I really hope this hurts her more than it hurts me.
So far I have two major pieces of furniture moved out of the office and I would have done more but I had to spend the last hour of my evening holding my six-year-old's hand while she cleaned up after herself. I honestly don't know where I went wrong with that one. She will clean-up after herself for everyone but me. What I hate even more is that if I want to punish her, I end up punishing myself. No trip to the pool for her means no trip for me. No movies or games means her head up my ass all day long. This is what I hate about motherhood. You can't just live by your own whims, you are a constant slave to the whims of other, immature and less reasonable whims. Gag me. I think I need a nanny -- not to do all the fun stuff with the kids like most people pay nannies to do, but to punish them and make them stare at a wall for two hours while I go have fun in the pool. That would be ideal parenting in my world. "Oops. You fucked up. We'll talk about it when I get back from having fun!"
<sigh>
If only.
So I guess tomorrow I'll get the rest of the furniture moved since it looks like lap swimming, diving for rings, giving piggy back rides, and having splash contests is not in my future. Somebody shoot me. I really hope this hurts her more than it hurts me.
 |
| Hmmmmm..... |
Monday, July 2, 2012
Burn and Crash!
It's weeks like this that make me the warrior I am. I would really like to go to the gym and take the kids to the pool every day, but I also want to move the furniture out of my office and get ready to re-floor it. Oh! And re-floor it. Plus, I sort of need to go grocery shopping and it's sort of my job to cook dinner in the evenings, or at least have something planned that Hubby can take care of, which is difficult with a lack of food in the cupboards or lack of time to plan.
I think I'll try to do my workout in the pool, make a few crockpot meals, and maybe run to the store tomorrow evening after dinner -- without the kids.
Then of course, we'll see if I don't crash on my face Friday night. Anybody takin' bets?
I think I'll try to do my workout in the pool, make a few crockpot meals, and maybe run to the store tomorrow evening after dinner -- without the kids.
Then of course, we'll see if I don't crash on my face Friday night. Anybody takin' bets?
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